3 Simple Techniques to Stop Emotional Hijacking (Before You Say Something You Regret)
Welcome to Linked And Lift, your weekly guide to thriving in your career and designing a life you love for entrepreneurs and ambitious professionals. Each week, you get research-backed insights and we break down the skills, strategies, and mindsets you need to stay ahead of the curve.
As an introvert, I’m not the one to raise my voice in a meeting. If anything, I tend to hold things in and process my emotions internally rather than reacting outwardly.
But that doesn’t mean I haven’t felt the pull of emotional hijacking.
Did you know that emotions can hijack your brain in just 1/20th of a second?
That’s faster than your conscious mind can process a logical response. It’s why you can go from calm to reactive rage in an instant - before you even realize what’s happening.
But here’s the good news.
You can train yourself to take back control.
Today, we’re breaking down how to handle emotional hijacking, so you don’t say (or do) something you’ll regret.
What’s in Store:
The neuroscience behind emotional hijacking
How to pause and regain control in high-stress moments
A simple 3-step strategy to respond (instead of react)
⏳ Read Time: 6 minutes
Why We Say Things We Regret: The Neuroscience of Emotional Hijacking
Ever fired off a sharp email and regretted it immediately?
Snapped at someone in a meeting and wished you could take it back?
That’s your amygdala - the emotional center of your brain - taking over before your rational thinking kicks in. This is called amygdala hijack, a term coined by psychologist Daniel Goleman in his 1995 book ‘Emotional Intelligence: why It Can Matter More Than IQ’ .
It happens when your brain perceives a threat (real or imagined) and shifts into fight, flight, or freeze mode.
The problem?
In the modern world, most of our “threats” aren’t lions chasing us. They’re uncomfortable conversations, negative feedback, or difficult people.
Reacting impulsively in these situations can damage relationships, credibility, and decision-making.
The key is to recognize the hijack before it takes over.
How to Take Back Control: The 3-Step Reset Strategy
Step 1: Name It to Tame It
Your first weapon against emotional hijack? Awareness.
The moment you feel your body reacting (tense muscles, racing heart, heat rising), pause and name the emotion.
“I’m feeling angry.”
“I’m frustrated.”
“I’m overwhelmed.”
🧠 Why it works:
Naming your emotion shifts activity from your amygdala (the emotional brain) to your prefrontal cortex (the rational brain), making it easier to think logically.
🔥 Power move:
Try saying, “I notice I’m feeling…” instead of “I am…” (Example: “I notice I’m feeling frustrated” keeps it temporary, instead of identifying with it.)
Step 2: Breathe and Buy Time
Before responding, create a gap between emotion and reaction.
Take a deep breath (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 6).
Take a sip of water.
Say nothing for 5 seconds.
🚀 Why it works:
This interrupts the hijack and gives your brain time to regain control.
🛠 Try this:
If you're in a heated conversation, use a neutral phrase to buy time:
“Let me think about that.”
“That’s an interesting perspective.”
“I need a moment to process this.”
It prevents knee-jerk reactions and allows you to respond intentionally.
Step 3: Choose Your Response (Not Your Reaction)
Once you’ve calmed your nervous system, ask yourself:
👉 What outcome do I actually want from this situation?
Do you want to prove a point, or do you want a resolution?
Do you want to "win," or do you want to maintain a good relationship?
Reframe your response to align with your long-term goals.
💡 Example:
Instead of saying, “This is ridiculous! You’re wrong.”
Say, “I see your perspective. Here’s what I think…”
Real-World Scenarios & How to Handle Them
🚩 Someone sends a passive-aggressive email
➟ Instead of: Firing back with sarcasm
➟ Do this: Wait 10 minutes. Then reply with facts, not feelings.
🚩 A colleague undermines you in a meeting
➟ Instead of: Snapping back in front of everyone
➟ Do this: Say, “I’d love to hear more about why you think that,” to shift the focus back on them.
🚩 You’re about to say something you’ll regret
➟ Instead of: Blowing up in the heat of the moment
➟ Do this: Take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Will this matter in a week?”
🚀 Action Plan: Train Yourself to Stay in Control
1. Start a “Trigger Journal.” Write down when you felt emotionally hijacked and what you could have done differently.
2. Practice the 5-Second Rule. Before reacting, count to 5 and take a deep breath.
3. Use a “Pause Phrase.” Keep a phrase like “Let me think about that” in your back pocket for tense situations.
Linked And Lift Picks
📖 Book: Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts – Becoming the Person You Want to Be by Marshall Goldsmith – a powerful guide on mastering emotional responses and breaking reactive habits.
🎧 Podcast: The Knowledge Project – episode on learning from experience, navigating feedback, and balancing ambition with self-awareness
📝 Quote: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” – Viktor Frankl
What’s Your Take?
Poll: How Do You Usually Handle Emotional Hijacking?
👉 Vote here and see how others handle emotional hijacking!
Last week’s Poll results
How comfortable are you saying no at work?
Turns out, most of this community has figured out boundaries.
The top response? 64% said they’re comfortable setting limits. Meanwhile, 27% admitted they say no but still feel guilty, and 9% confessed they say yes to everything (help!).
The big takeaway? Many of us are standing our ground, but guilt still sneaks in.
I Want to Hear From You!
✨ Share the Lift: Know someone who reacts impulsively under pressure? Share this newsletter with them. They’ll thank you next time they stay cool in a tough moment.
⭐ Rate This Edition: Your feedback shapes Linked And Lift! Let me know what you want to see more of.
Thank you for being a part of our Linked And Lift community!
See you next week! 🚀
Founder, Linked And Lift