You Can’t Control Everything -But You Can Control These Things
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What’s in Store This Week:
A behind-the-scenes story on how letting go rewired my mindset
The 3 things you can’t control (and why that’s a good thing)
The 5 things you can control that will shift everything
A step-by-step action plan to reclaim your energy + clarity
🕒 Read Time: 5 minutes
I was recently thinking about how far I’ve come with this.
It was such an ordinary moment, but it stayed with me.
Not because of what happened… but because of what it showed me.
There was a time I’d spend hours replaying awkward conversations in my head.
“Did I say the wrong thing?”
“What did they think of me?”
“Should I have handled that differently?”
It was exhausting, and it never changed anything.
Eventually, through a lot of reflection and self-awareness work,
I realised what I’d been doing.
“You’re spending energy on things you don’t own.”
That realisation shifted how I think about control.
After years of working with clients, here’s what I know for sure:
We don’t gain control by managing everything.
We gain control by choosing what’s truly ours to manage, and letting go of the rest.
Here are 8 ways you can stop spending energy on what’s not yours to carry - so you can refocus on what actually moves you forward.
🔒 What You Can’t Control (And Don’t Need To)
1. Other people’s opinions or behavior
🔹 You can’t control what others say, believe, or how they treat you.
🔹 You can’t manage their reactions, assumptions, or projections.
🔹 Trying to “pre-polish” everything to avoid judgment is a trap.
🌀 Reflection:
No matter how carefully you speak or how “perfectly” you perform, people will see you through their own filters. Most aren’t even paying close attention anyway. Let them think what they want since you can’t really control what they think. You have better places to spend your energy.
2. Outcomes or external events
🔹 Not every post will resonate.
🔹 Not every opportunity will unfold as planned.
🔹 The algorithm, the market, and other people’s timelines are not yours to carry.
🌀 Reflection:
You can do everything “right” and still not get the result you hoped for. Success isn’t always linear or immediate. What matters is how aligned and consistent you are in the process, not just the outcome.
3. The past, or what others carry into the room
🔹 You’re not responsible for what came before.
🔹 You don’t control what others bring with them (their energy, fears, filters).
🔹 Your power is in the now.
🌀 Reflection:
People walk into conversations carrying far more than you can see. Their reactions may have nothing to do with you. Don’t take it personally. Stay anchored in your own presence.
🔓 What You Can Control (Start Here)
1. Your response
🔹 How you choose to speak, share, and respond is always within reach.
🔹 This includes your tone, presence, and how you hold space for yourself and others.
🌀 Reflection:
You may not control what’s said to you, but you always get to decide what kind of person you’ll be in the moment. That’s real power.
2. Your energy + attention
🔹 What you water, grows.
🔹 Where you focus determines how you feel, and what you build.
🌀 Reflection:
Energy is finite. When you focus on fear, doubt, or comparison, you feed it.
When you focus on creativity, connection, and clarity, you grow those instead.
3. Your boundaries
🔹 What you say yes or no to.
🔹 How much access others have to your time, mind, or creative bandwidth.
🌀 Reflection:
Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re clarity. Every time you set one, you protect your capacity to show up well and serve with intention.
4. Your self-talk + inner world
🔹 The story you tell yourself matters more than any comment or metric.
🔹 You can choose compassion over criticism; clarity over chaos.
🌀 Reflection:
You are the narrator of your story. Choose words that build, not bruise.
Your inner voice sets the tone for how you show up outwardly.
5. Your alignment
🔹 You decide who you show up for and why.
🔹 You choose to lead from purpose, not performance.
🌀 Reflection:
When you act from alignment, your message becomes magnetic.
Authenticity isn’t just a strategy; it’s a foundation.
Action Plan: Reclaim Your Power
Audit Your Energy:
Where are you wasting energy on things you can’t control?Draw a Line:
Write down one boundary you’ll reinforce this week.Shift Your Story:
Catch one self-critical thought and reframe it with compassion.Practice Letting Go:
Say it out loud: “This is not mine to carry.”
✨ Linked And Lift Picks
Book: Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
Podcast: We Can Do Hard Things – episode on emotional boundaries
Quote:
“You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.” – Unknown
Closing Thought
Letting go of control isn’t giving up.
It’s choosing to master your attention, energy, and presence.
If you’re unsure where to focus next, it may be time to ask:
What am I holding that’s not mine to carry?
And where do I want to reclaim my power?
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What’s one thing you’ve stopped trying to control, and what shifted when you did?
Hit reply. I’d genuinely love to hear your story.
And thank you for being a part of our Linked And Lift community!
Until next time,
Véronique
Veronique Barrot
Founder, Linked And Lift
Follow me on LinkedIn
P.S. If you’re building a personal brand on LinkedIn and often find yourself second-guessing your voice or direction, you’re not alone.
I help ambitious, mission-driven women show up with clarity and confidence, so your presence on LinkedIn feels aligned and opens doors to the right opportunities.
✨ If you’d love more guidance on that journey, you’re welcome to apply.