The Surprising People Who Reveal Your Blind Spots (Without Saying a Word)
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The Mirror Principle: What Others Reveal About Your Leadership
Fun Fact:
Mirrors weren’t always made of glass.
Turns out, humans have always been obsessed with understanding themselves through what they see in others.
And that’s exactly where we’re going this week.
What’s In Store:
● 3 relationship “mirrors” that reveal where you’re still growing
● Action Plan: Decode your toughest reflections
● Linked And Lift Picks
📖 Read Time: 5 minutes
The Leadership Mirror Principle
Something shifted for me recently in how I see difficult relationships.
It wasn’t a breakthrough from a book or a coaching session.
It was a simple realization:
Everyone in your life - colleagues, clients, partners, and yes, even your children (if you have any) - is reflecting something back to you.
Some reflections are beautiful.
Others are uncomfortable.
But all of them are trying to show you something important.
Here’s the truth most of us avoid:
Every person in your life is a mirror.
Some reflect your strengths and potential.
Others expose the wounds you haven’t yet healed.
And most of us run from both.
We avoid the painful reflections because they’re uncomfortable.
We deny the beautiful ones with imposter syndrome.
We blame the mirror instead of reading the message it’s showing us.
But what if you could decode these reflections, and use them to accelerate your growth as a leader, founder, and parent?
Let’s break this down.
3 Mirrors in Your Life (And What They’re Really Showing You)
1. The Trigger Mirror
You know the moment:
A client critiques your proposal.
A colleague talks over you in a meeting.
Your daughter rolls her eyes at the dinner table, and you snap.
When someone triggers you, pause.
Ask yourself: What unhealed part of me is this exposing?
👉 Is it perfectionism?
👉 Control issues?
👉 A childhood fear of “getting it wrong”?
Their behavior is the messenger, not the message.
Your reaction reveals exactly where you still have room to grow.
I see this play out constantly with the high-achieving families I work with.
A parent becomes frustrated when their son or daughter “isn’t trying hard enough” in French class.
But often? That frustration is really about their own perfectionism, their fear of their child falling behind, or unresolved feelings about their own academic journey.
The student isn’t the problem. They’re the mirror.
2. The Energy Drain Mirror
Ever feel completely wiped after talking to someone?
Chances are, they’re showing you something important:
Your boundaries need reinforcement.
Here’s what I’ve learned after 14+ years of working with ambitious women:
Energy vampires only exist when we allow them access.
They’re showing you where your boundaries are weak.
Perhaps you’re saying yes when you mean no.
Perhaps you’re over-delivering because you don’t yet trust your value.
Perhaps you’re trying to prove yourself instead of simply being yourself.
Whether it’s a client who emails at midnight, a colleague who dominates every meeting, or anyone who leaves you depleted, they’re not the issue.
The weak boundary is.
The Mirror Says:
“You’re leaking energy where you should be protecting it.”
Your light is precious. Guard it.
Not everyone deserves access to it.
3. The Inspiration Mirror
When someone deeply inspires you, pay attention, be it a leader you follow, a business owner crushing it in your industry, or a coach who seems to have it all figured out.
When you see another woman founder who’s built the visibility you crave, the business model you dream of, the confidence you wish you had, your admiration isn’t random.
Your admiration is direction.
What you admire in them exists in you too.
Their light isn’t a reminder of what you lack.
It’s permission to shine yours.
The Mirror Says:
“You already have this inside you.”
Think about it:
You wouldn’t recognize their brilliance if you didn’t already possess it somewhere inside yourself.
The Academic Parallel: When Students Mirror Their Environment
This mirror principle applies directly to how young people approach learning.
When I meet a high school student who says “I’m not a language person” or “I’ll never be good at French,” I hear something else.
They’re mirroring back limiting beliefs they’ve absorbed:
from a teacher who didn’t believe in them,
from classmates who made them feel silly for trying,
from their own inner critic.
They’re not lacking ability.
They’re reflecting an environment that hasn’t shown them their potential.
The transformation happens when we shift what we’re reflecting back to them:
Instead of doubt, we mirror belief through small, consistent wins
Instead of judgment, we mirror safety where they can practice speaking without fear
Instead of limitations, we mirror possibility by showing them the sophisticated expression they’re capable of
When students achieve top grades and go on to competitive universities, the academics are just the visible result.
The real transformation?
It’s watching them stop saying “I can’t” and start believing “I can.”
Just like you’re learning to do in your leadership.
Action Plan: How to Use the Mirror Principle
✅ Stop trying to fix people who aren’t asking for help. (Yes, including your son or daughter when they’re not ready. Sometimes the best thing you can do is model growth yourself.)
✅ Track your triggers.
Patterns reveal progress.
Keep a “mirror journal” for a week:
Who triggered you? What were you really feeling?
✅ Raise your energetic standards.
Start saying no to draining relationships.
Set new boundaries without explanation or apology.
✅ Follow your inspiration.
If someone’s success lights you up (or makes you a little envious),
ask: “What part of me is ready to rise?”
Random people are not sent to you.
Mirrors are send.
God sends:
Teachers disguised as difficult clients
Lessons wrapped in business setbacks
Children who push every button (because they’re showing you exactly where you still need to grow in patience, boundaries, and self-trust)
Your job isn’t to change the reflection.
It’s to change what you’re projecting.
Linked And Lift Picks
Book: The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest - all about confronting the self-sabotage you mirror in others.
Podcast: The Long Game with Dorie Clark – episode on invisible growth and compound leadership momentum.
Quote:
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung
Closing Thought
You’re not just reacting to others.
You’re learning from them.
So the next time someone triggers, drains, or inspires you, pause.
They’re not just showing up for you.
They’re showing you you.
Whether you’re building a business, raising an ambitious student, or both,
the mirror principle reminds us that growth starts from within.
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👉 Who has been your most difficult mirror lately?
And more importantly: what are they trying to show you?
👇 Hit reply and let me know. I read every response, and sometimes the most powerful breakthroughs happen in these conversations.
And thank you for being a part of our Linked And Lift community!
Until next time,
Veronique Barrot
Founder, Linked And Lift
Coaching leaders to grow inside out.
Follow me on LinkedIn where I share self-leadership and growth insights Monday to Friday.
P.S. If you’re wondering what I do beyond writing newsletters: I support ambitious women leaders in two ways: through strategic personal branding for founders, and helping their teens go from “I’m not a language person” to earning A–A* in IGCSE, O Level & A-Level French exams. Both are about the same thing: rebuilding foundations that were never quite solid. If that’s relevant to your world, I’m here.