The Hidden Gap That Looks Like Failure (But Isn’t) - and How to Rebuild the Foundation Beneath It
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What’s Inside This Edition:
Why capable people stop believing in themselves
The hidden gap that looks like failure (but isn’t)
How small cracks become chasms, in leadership and learning
Linked And Lift Picks: Resources on resilience and rebuilding
A closing thought about foundations worth protecting
If you’ve ever watched someone talented convince themselves they can’t, or felt it yourself, this one’s for you.
The Moment Belief Breaks
What no one tells you about confidence
I’ve noticed something that shows up consistently across my work.
As a founder, mum of 2, and someone who’s worked with ambitious women leaders, whether guiding their teens to places at leading universities or helping them build visibility for their businesses, I see the same moment happen again and again.
It’s the moment when someone capable stops believing they are.
Not because they lack talent.
Not because they aren’t trying hard enough.
But because somewhere along the way, a foundation cracked, and they kept building on top of it anyway.
The pattern repeats itself, and once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
In leadership:
A capable founder tells me, “I don’t know how to stand out in my market.”
But when we dig deeper, it’s never about capability.
It’s about an unfilled gap:
The niche she never fully defined, so her message appeals to everyone and no one
The pricing conversation she avoided because it felt uncomfortable, so she stayed undervalued
The network she didn’t nurture because she was too busy “doing the work,” so opportunities passed her by
She kept trying to grow her business on shaky ground. And eventually, she stopped believing it was possible for her.
In learning:
A teenager sits across from me and says, “I’m just not a language person.”
But they are.
What happened is this:
Somewhere in Year 8, they didn’t fully understand a grammar concept.
Or they stumbled over pronunciation in front of their classmates and decided it was safer to stay silent.
Or they had a teacher who moved too fast, and they never caught up.
Instead of pausing to fill that gap, they kept moving forward, building on unstable ground.
Until the gap became so wide, they couldn’t see across it anymore.
What Looks Like Failure Is Often Just an Unfilled Gap
Whether I’m working with a student preparing for A-Level French or a founder building her personal brand, the pattern is identical:
When someone tells you they “just can’t,” there’s usually a forgotten fracture, a moment buried in their story, a small crack that went unaddressed and quietly grew into something bigger.
For the leader:
The strategic partnership she didn’t pursue because she wasn’t sure she was “ready” became the reason she’s still struggling to scale
The expertise she didn’t own publicly became the reason potential clients can’t find her
The boundary she didn’t set with a difficult client became the pattern of overworking and undercharging. This actually happened to me with a client, so I learnt this lesson the hard way.
For the teenager:
The grammar point they didn’t understand in Year 8 became the reason they can’t build complex sentences in Year 10
The pronunciation they were too afraid to practice became the reason they freeze in oral exams
The motivation they lost after uninspiring lessons became the reason they stopped trying altogether
In both cases, the gap compounds.
And what started as a small uncertainty becomes a deeply held belief:
“This just isn’t for me.”
The Good News: Gaps Don’t Define You
Whether you’re building your leadership presence or watching your teenager navigate their academic journey, the principle is the same:
Confidence isn’t about pretending everything’s perfect.
It’s about recognizing where the foundation needs attention.
The founder who finally claims her niche and pricing?
She starts attracting aligned clients because the foundation is solid now.
The student who revisits that Year 8 grammar concept?
They start constructing sophisticated sentences because the crack has been filled.
It’s never about innate ability.
It’s about awareness - seeing where the foundation cracked in the first place.
Reflection Prompt: Where’s Your Foundation?
Sometimes just noticing where things shifted is enough to change how we move forward.
Here’s what to consider:
1. Get curious about the turning point
Where did confidence start to waver? In your positioning as a leader? In how you price your services? In your teenager’s belief that they could succeed in languages? There’s often wisdom in identifying that moment.
2. Listen to the “I’m just not...” statements
When you (or your child) says, “I’m just not good at this,” it’s worth questioning. Is it truth, or is it a signal that something wasn’t solidified when it needed to be?
3. Notice what you’ve been building on
Sometimes we realize we’ve been adding more and more on top of something that was never quite stable. That awareness alone can shift things.
4. Give it time and space
Rebuilding doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes acknowledging the gap is enough to start shifting how you approach it.
Linked And Lift Picks
Book: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown – On worthiness and rebuilding belief in yourself
Podcast: The Tim Ferriss Show – Episode on “How to Overcome Self-Doubt”
Quote: “You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.” – Henry Ford
Closing Thought
Gaps are quiet.
They don’t announce themselves.
They don’t show up on performance reviews or report cards.
But over time, they grow into the voice that says: “I can’t.”
If you’re leading something that matters like a business, a team, a family, those cracks are worth noticing.
Not because you need to fix everything right now.
But because seeing them clearly changes how you build going forward.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply recognize where the foundation needs attention.
That awareness? That’s where growth quietly begins.
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Until next time,
Veronique Barrot
Founder, Linked And Lift
Coaching leaders to grow inside out.
Follow me on LinkedIn where I share self-leadership and growth insights 6 times a week.
P.S. If you’re wondering what I do beyond writing newsletters: I support ambitious women leaders in two ways: through strategic personal branding for founders, and helping their teens go from “I’m not a language person” to earning A–A* in IGCSE, O Level & A-Level French exams. Both are about the same thing: rebuilding foundations that were never quite solid. If that’s relevant to your world, I’m here.