If You Don’t Decide, the World Will. Use This Simple Rule to Protect the Life You Actually Want

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Most of us say we want peace, freedom, joy, or purpose.

We talk about goals all the time.

But goals without criteria are just hopes with a prettier font.
The real shift happens when you choose the life you want, and then design the rules that protect it.

Today’s issue is all about self-leadership. Not the kind you post about, but the kind you live.

What’s in store:

• A 5-step clarity-and-boundaries playbook

• Scripts for saying “no” (without guilt)

• A behind-the-scenes look at something exciting I’m building for you

Read time: 5 minutes

Here’s a simple, empowering playbook you can use this week.

The Empowered Life Playbook

It works whether you’re a founder, leader, creator, or quietly building your next chapter.

1) Make the decision visible

Write one sentence you’d be proud to defend:

“This year I’m building a life where I am [feeling/standard], doing [type of work], with [types of people], so I can create [impact/reward].”

Put it somewhere you’ll see daily.

If a decision doesn’t move you toward that sentence, it’s a No.

2) Turn values into criteria

Pick three priorities for the next 90 days.

Some example buckets:

• Opportunity creation / career moves

• Deep work on a flagship project

• Health & energy as non-negotiables
  

Now turn each priority into yes-criteria:

• Advances the mission

• Energises or teaches me something I want

• Fits my capacity (or I make a deliberate trade-off)

If a request doesn’t meet all three, it’s a No or a Not Yet.

3) Upgrade your “No” muscle (scripts you can steal)

Clean “no’s” protect your “yes” from dilution.

Here are a few scripts to make saying “no” feel strong, kind, and clear:

• No (warm):
  “Thank you for thinking of me. I’m focused on [priority] through [date], so I can’t add this. Cheering you on.”
  

• No (helpful):
  “It’s not a fit for me right now. Two people who might be: [A] / [B].”
  

• Not Yet:
  “Aligned, wrong timing. Can we revisit after [date]? If so, I’ll bring [specific next step] so we can decide quickly.”
  

• Renegotiate (protect quality):
  “Happy to help if we narrow to [A & B]. That keeps the quality high and fits my capacity.”
  

Reminder: Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re filters for your future.

4) Install rules of engagement

Three small rules eliminate most decision fatigue:

1. I don’t decide in the room. I ask for context and reply by [deadline].

2. If the timeline shrinks, scope shrinks, not the standards.

3. I guard two focus blocks and one no-meeting morning each week.
   (These are for the life I said I want.)

   

5) The 10-minute audit

Set a timer and go:

1. Write your one-sentence life decision.

2. List your 3 priorities and yes criteria.

3. Drop the scripts above into your notes app.

4. Run two upcoming decisions through the filter: Yes / No / Not Yet.

You’ll feel the shift quickly: less resentment, clearer presence, better work.
When your behaviour matches your decision, opportunities tend to notice.

Linked And Lift Picks

• Book: Essentialism by Greg McKeown – Say no with confidence. (The book notes)

• Podcast: The Mel Robbins Podcast – Episode on decision fatigue. (The shortform)

• Quote: “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.” – Derek Sivers

  

A little secret (and I want your input)

Each week, many of you kindly fill out the survey form here. I read every single one of your responses. Thank you so much. You have been telling me that you want help building your personal brand. You want to turn presence into real opportunities, without burning out or pretending to be someone you’re not.

So I’m building something new:
a LinkedIn Growth Bootcamp for ambitious women.

It’s positioning-led, practical, and respectful of who you are. Whether you’re actively building a personal brand or simply want your work and business to be easier to find, we’ll focus on:

• clarifying who you are and the problems you solve,

• profiles and positioning that open doors,

• simple, sustainable ways to show your value,

• systems that protect your energy and standards.

We’re putting the finishing touches on the curriculum. Tell me what you most want covered by answering 4 quick questions here.

If this sounds like you, reply with “BOOTCAMP” and I’ll send first-access details when it’s ready.

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Until next time,

Veronique Barrot
Founder, Linked And Lift
Coaching leaders to grow.
Follow me on LinkedIn